


Coward

by health_goth



Series: JDatE Ficlets [4]
Category: John Dies at the End - David Wong
Genre: Gen, Implied Relationships, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 13:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2853218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/health_goth/pseuds/health_goth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's never good to leave David alone with his thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coward

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
> This isn’t 100% how I think Dave and the others would think but I did my best on the angst front. Merry Christmas you weird bird, and all of you on AO3.

Most days it was easy not to think about. Most days it was easy to relegate the worst of Dave’s reality to the back of his mind, cover it up with day-to-day inanities, an ugly but expensive trinket that your grandmother gave you buried far back in the attic under dust and furniture because you had some moral obligation to keep it.

Of course, even the ugliest of trinkets was nothing compared to Dave’s reality.

The question of whether he was human was one that he’d managed to stop asking himself –  _they looked and spoke and bled like humans, but what did that even really mean_  – but there were some questions that were too vital to the safety of his friends to properly ignore.

Questions that led to Dave staring contemplatively at the Qur’an that wasn’t really a Qur’an, thoughts rushing through him all at once, body buzzing with a nervous energy he couldn’t expend while Amy and John farted around in the other room.

Here were the facts:

Fact one: John might talk a big game, but how likely was it that he would be able to dispose of Dave if he began to to show signs of no longer being Dave? John had never been good with showing stronger, more personal emotions, but the fact was John loved him, and it was unlikely John could dispose of Dave and continue on with his life in any healthy capacity, especially if John himself was the one to do the disposing.

Fact two: Amy would probably never even consider the possibility.

David didn’t like to acknowledge it, but he know that if he died without ever…  _monstering out_ , it would only be because he didn’t manage to live long enough for it to happen. Nothing could change what he fundamentally was. None of them necessarily knew what he fundamentally was, not even David himself, but it was too different from what John and Amy and most of humanity was, the mark on his toe taunting him with that every time he took his socks off; something too  _other_  to be entirely safe.

(Sometimes Dave daydreamed about just cutting the damn toe off.)

However, here was a third fact, the one that Dave wished with all his heart he could make untrue:

If it came down to it, if Dave somehow noticed signs of something changing before it was entirely beyond his control to react appropriately, he knew there was a good chance he’d be too much of a coward to pull the trigger himself to spare Amy and John the pain of having to do it, assuming they even would. He would give up his life in a second for either of them, but there was a difference between standing in front of bullets someone else had already set into motion and making your finger twitch just enough to end everything.

And that almost scared Dave more than anything else.

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
> Mission accomplished. HaShem bless us all.


End file.
